Bonfire at Haritachala

"Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself." — Mark Twain

My dear family, 

The sweet aftertaste of our time at Haritachala has often been coming to my mind. Moments like sitting around the crackling bon-fire emanated not just warmth but a deep silence inside me. There was a sacred quality to the fire that night. For a tiny moment everything seemed to have burnt clean in that fire — the chatter of thoughts, a sense of who I was, where I was, the constructs in my mind, the simmering emotions inside and time itself! And each time the fire crackled and changed its form it was Perfection. Again and again it created itself in a new form like spontaneous art being made in the image of Perfection, in the image of Daddy.  Later that night as I feel asleep I wondered why Baba had a dhuni next to him. What did he see in it? What did it mean to him? Why did he have it with him all his life? And as I woke up next morning I was sure I smelled a lingering hint of daddy's cigarette in the room around me…. Strange! There again was another fire that was carried all through life.

That 'sacredness' from the previous night seemed to have carried itself into the natural silence the next morning when we sat facing the great Arunachala, our lovely temple and daddy's chair. There was a sense of peace, a powerful presence and a deep sense of belonging. He was mine and I was his. That is all that mattered. When I opened my eyes after a while I felt the presence of a smile on my lips that had somehow crept in like a child peeking through her mother's saree. The day that followed carried the impact of that morning into most things I did. 

There are so many more of such beautiful moments that happened over the weekend. This is but one such moment. I pray that I get to experience such moments more and more. I pray that they are richer and deeper. I pray that we get closer and closer to him with each experience. I pray that we become worthy of his love. And I pray my love for him not only burns like a roaring fire but eventually becomes like coal, deep-burning and unquenchable.